He caught me off guard with that unexpected question. It’s a
question that demands a yes/no answer, though he may have meant it to be a
compliment. On the other hand, it could have been a lead-in to a sly insult, no
matter what my answer.
“Has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful hair?”
“Why, yes, they have.”
“Really? They must have been blind.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful hair?”
“No, I don’t believe so.”
“I can see why not.”
The way I saw it, my new friend left me no choice but to
laugh it off with a silly (but true) story about a few compliments I’d received
after accidentally coloring my hair an intense pomegranate red. I went on to
express my consternation at being unable to tone down the color and avoid all
the attention it was bringing me. I wanted to stop talking, but words just kept
falling out of my mouth!
Now, if he had said what he meant (which I hope was
complimentary), I could have responded with a sincere “thank you.” Instead, I’m
left with the memory of my excessive laughter and awkward verbiage. Sighhh…
In real life, you can avoid confusion by saying exactly what
you mean (doing so graciously, I hope, when the message is less than pleasant).
In fiction, unless you purposefully want to cause confusion as part of the
plotline, you should consider saying what you, and your character, mean. The
best dialogue (in novels as well as real life) informs, entertains, and moves
the story forward. I’m not sure the party conversation above does that … unless it
was the beginning of a romantic comedy? (So far, that doesn’t appear to be the
case.)
Do you say what you mean? Have you ever been on the
receiving end of a compliment that wasn’t really a compliment? Share your
experience in the comment box!
You do have beautiful hair!
ReplyDeleteI'm learning to be more precise in my answering when others ask a specific question. I usually have an answer trailing behind me. LOL! You're not alone my friend. :)
I try desperately and intentionally to say what I mean, but even then, I can get tongue tied, ramble and appear awkward. UGH! Responding to compliments are the worst, especially when they are sincere. :)
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like he was uncomfortable with strangers, too, and wanted to give you a compliment. It just came out all wrong for him, too. Joe, my DH, always says "Say what you mean, and mean what you say!" so it isn't a new concept. It is just hard for most of us, at least some of the time. Maybe you will see him again, at another event. If you do, ask him the same question and see how he answers.... (winking)!!
ReplyDeleteLOL Terri, I think he might be offended if I him ask the same question. He's not got a lot of hair. But I could compliment his voice. I enjoying hearing him read my writing aloud. :-)
ReplyDeleteI once worked as a cashier in a electric company. I would receive inquiries and transactions over the phone. Once a customer called and as we were talking he suddenly says "are you as beautiful as your voice?" I could not believe it, I got tongue tied and said "well... what do you mean?? I mean .. I guess" LOL the conversation suddenly felt very awkward and I quickly changed the subject back to what we were addressing. LOL It's one my most awkward moments. LOL
ReplyDelete