I’m feeling pretty happy today, all things considered, so
posting a rant almost seems wrong. However, this blog was mostly done, so I
decided to finish it and pop it up here rather than keep you waiting any longer
for my pearls of wisdom. *wink* J
No gratitude
expressed upon receipt of requested advice. I’m in a position that many
others would like to be in: making a living as an author and/or editor. (I do
both; some would like to do just one or the other.) So, it makes sense that
people want to ask for advice, hoping to discover the secret to my success so
that they can succeed in the same way. Sometimes it’s an acquaintance, but more
often, it’s an Internet stranger who sends me a message saying that they would
like to do what I do and asking how I wound up doing it.
The short answer is that it was a “God-thing.” Everything I
do just fell into my lap, so to speak. But that is not what people really want
to hear. They want details! They want to know what—if anything—they can do to
improve their chances of becoming a paid author or editor. And so I save those
questions, and in a day or three when I have more time, I respond with a
well-thought-out explanation and some advice. Sometimes in return, I get a
warm, appreciative, and verbose thanks. Not long ago, I got a short note—thank
you soooo much and God bless—that made me smile. But then there are the terse,
one-word responses (Thanks.) or no response at all.
Thanks. (no
exclamation point) What does that mean? Thanks for nothing? Thanks to you, I’m
no closer to a job in publishing? Thanks, but I’d get better advice from my
cat? And what’s with no thanks at all? Surely if one has time to ask the question, one has time to offer a proper thanks for the answer.
If I spend a good chunk of time working on a detailed answer
that might even encourage the asker, I expect to receive a decent thank you in return. Is
that wrong? While I’m not looking for flowery protestations of gratitude—or
flowers, for that matter, I do feel a reply that recognizes the time clearly
spent crafting a thoughtful response to a question I was under no obligation to
answer would be appropriate, not to mention good manners!
What’s your opinion? Have you ever asked someone for career
advice? Has anyone ever asked you for advice? Is there ever a time when thanks
should not be necessary?
That reminds me: there’s an e-mail waiting on me for an answer ... I believe I’ll go answer it and see what happens!
I've been working so many years, now, that I don't remember ever asking for career advice. My positions have all sort of fallen in my lap, too, Brenda. I also say that where I am today is a God thing. BUT, we get interns here all the time. Some are very thankful to learn - others are just putting in time. I'm always amazed at those who have such a poor work ethic. I'm so thankful to be where I am today. Be grateful for the ones who offer their thanks, and know that the others will have to work so much harder until they learn to be thankful and a bit more humble! You are amazing, and I love your blogs!
ReplyDeleteDitto that, haha! The ingratitude/lack of manners will hinder these people; so we roll our eyes and move on, walking in grace and gratitude to our Savior!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, lack of gratitude is a growing characteristic of many in our society. I would be very frustrated if I were in your position. Even if someone tells/gives me something I don't really feel I can use, I still express gratitude for their time and trouble. I suppose this is one of those times where we model gratitude and hope it rubs off on those around us!
ReplyDeleteI remember back in the late 90s, I won a drawing for a "business date" with a woman in the local media. I invited her to a tea house for lunch, where I interviewed her about her career and bought her lunch. I don't remember what I learned, but I do remember enjoying our conversation and taking notes. Back then, if you wanted professional advice, you extended an invitation to lunch! Nowadays, you shoot off an e-mail and cross your fingers. Is there even such a thing as a business lunch anymore?
ReplyDelete